WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:04.000 Weather today in the greater Cincinnati area. 00:04.000 --> 00:07.000 I love you so badly. 00:07.000 --> 00:11.000 They're solid plastic, so don't settle for imitation. 00:13.000 --> 00:18.000 But the senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity. 00:21.000 --> 00:25.000 Baby, if you've ever wondered 00:25.000 --> 00:30.000 And wondered what ever became of me 00:30.000 --> 00:34.000 I'm living on the air in Cincinnati 00:34.000 --> 00:38.000 In Cincinnati WKRP 00:38.000 --> 00:43.000 Got kinda kinda packin' and unpackin' 00:43.000 --> 00:47.000 Town to town, up and down the dial 00:47.000 --> 00:51.000 Baby, you and me were never meant to be 00:51.000 --> 00:55.000 Just maybe think of me once in a while 00:55.000 --> 01:02.000 I'm at WKRP in Cincinnati 01:04.000 --> 01:11.000 Alright Cincinnati, this is Venus Flytrap here to brighten, tighten and enlighten your starlight hours. 01:11.000 --> 01:13.000 So let the games begin. 01:19.000 --> 01:20.000 Hi Venus. 01:20.000 --> 01:22.000 Bailey, what are you doing here? Everybody's gone. 01:22.000 --> 01:24.000 I'm working on a special project. 01:24.000 --> 01:26.000 Andy wants to do a public service program. 01:26.000 --> 01:27.000 Uh-huh. 01:27.000 --> 01:29.000 And he's asking everybody for ideas, even me. 01:29.000 --> 01:30.000 Hey, that's great. 01:30.000 --> 01:32.000 And the meeting is tomorrow morning. 01:32.000 --> 01:33.000 Oh, wow. 01:33.000 --> 01:35.000 And I have come up with an idea that I really like. 01:35.000 --> 01:37.000 I like it too. 01:37.000 --> 01:38.000 You do? 01:37.000 --> 01:39.000 Yeah, I think it's perfect. Way to go, Bailey. 01:39.000 --> 01:41.000 But you haven't heard it. 01:41.000 --> 01:47.000 Don't need to. Now, why don't you just mow the lawn home and rest up for tomorrow, huh? 01:47.000 --> 01:49.000 Yeah, you're right. 01:49.000 --> 01:51.000 Boy, this really means a lot to me, Venus. 01:51.000 --> 01:54.000 Hear the coconut hurricanes, Venus sugar. 01:57.000 --> 01:58.000 Hi. 01:58.000 --> 01:59.000 Hi. 01:59.000 --> 02:05.000 Dig. Uh, Bailey, this is Mrs. Olsen. Yeah. 02:05.000 --> 02:07.000 She's a friend of my mother's. 02:07.000 --> 02:08.000 What? 02:08.000 --> 02:11.000 This is Bailey. She works here, but she's got to go home now. 02:11.000 --> 02:14.000 That's right. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Olsen. 02:15.000 --> 02:17.000 Good luck. Got Bailey tomorrow. Good night. 02:17.000 --> 02:18.000 Thanks. 02:18.000 --> 02:19.000 Yeah. 02:21.000 --> 02:25.000 Um, who was that? 02:26.000 --> 02:28.000 I told you, Roxanne, honey, she works here. 02:28.000 --> 02:31.000 Uh-huh. And who is Mrs. Olsen? 02:31.000 --> 02:34.000 Nobody. I'm not supposed to have a guest in the control room. 02:34.000 --> 02:38.000 Well, I thought you told me you owned this radio station. 02:38.000 --> 02:39.000 Dude. 02:40.000 --> 02:41.000 Wait a minute, baby. 02:41.000 --> 02:46.000 You can go and get your own coconut hurricanes from now on. 02:46.000 --> 02:48.000 Now wait. 02:53.000 --> 02:57.000 Uh, got my heart burning for love, children. 03:01.000 --> 03:02.000 Well, good morning, Bailey. 03:02.000 --> 03:06.000 Good morning, Andy. I'm a little early. 03:06.000 --> 03:07.000 For what? 03:07.000 --> 03:09.000 For the big public service meeting. 03:09.000 --> 03:10.000 Public service? Not today? 03:10.000 --> 03:11.000 Uh-huh. 03:11.000 --> 03:15.000 Good morning. Are you supposed to have some sort of meeting today? 03:15.000 --> 03:17.000 Public service meeting? Where's Herb? 03:18.000 --> 03:19.000 Probably forgot. 03:19.000 --> 03:21.000 Well, listen, okay, let's get started without him, I'll say. 03:21.000 --> 03:22.000 Okay, Andy. 03:24.000 --> 03:26.000 Good morning, everybody. Sorry I'm late unless I'm not. 03:26.000 --> 03:31.000 Now, perhaps I should open this meeting with a few very good ideas of my own. 03:32.000 --> 03:35.000 First, Andy, do you know what's wrong with public service? 03:36.000 --> 03:37.000 Uh, no, Herb, no, no, I don't. 03:37.000 --> 03:39.000 We don't make any money off of it. 03:40.000 --> 03:43.000 Well, that's the whole idea, Herb. See, public service time is free time. 03:43.000 --> 03:44.000 Can't we change that? 03:44.000 --> 03:45.000 Of course not. 03:45.000 --> 03:47.000 Well, then to hell with it. 03:48.000 --> 03:51.000 Okay, listen, how about you, Les, you got any ideas? 03:51.000 --> 03:53.000 I have a wonderful idea, Andy. 03:53.000 --> 03:58.000 Once a week, on the air, live, I could read obituaries. 03:59.000 --> 04:00.000 Uh, Les, I don't... 04:00.000 --> 04:01.000 You haven't heard the best part yet, Andy. 04:01.000 --> 04:05.000 They wouldn't only be local obituaries, I'd read them from all over the world. 04:05.000 --> 04:08.000 And what do we call it? Les Nessman's Death Watch? 04:10.000 --> 04:12.000 Ooh, that's good. 04:12.000 --> 04:15.000 I think we're gonna have to table that idea for the time being, all right? 04:16.000 --> 04:17.000 Bailey. 04:17.000 --> 04:18.000 Yes? 04:18.000 --> 04:19.000 How about you, you got an idea? 04:19.000 --> 04:21.000 Yes, Andy, I do. 04:24.000 --> 04:28.000 My idea is to do a 15-minute talk show once a week called Cincinnati Beat. 04:29.000 --> 04:31.000 Boring. 04:33.000 --> 04:39.000 What would make this show fresh and different is that we would talk to the average citizen who might not otherwise have a voice to the public. 04:40.000 --> 04:41.000 It's been done. 04:41.000 --> 04:46.000 It would also be an unusual show because Johnny would be doing the interviews. 04:46.000 --> 04:47.000 That's nuts! 04:49.000 --> 04:51.000 And I would produce it. 04:51.000 --> 04:52.000 I beg your pardon? 04:53.000 --> 04:55.000 I would produce it. 04:55.000 --> 04:56.000 A little louder, Bailey. 04:56.000 --> 04:58.000 I said I would produce it! 04:59.000 --> 05:01.000 But you're just a rookie, Bailey. 05:01.000 --> 05:04.000 Andy, this isn't the Ohio State Journalism School. 05:04.000 --> 05:06.000 This is the big time. 05:07.000 --> 05:08.000 Bailey! 05:08.000 --> 05:11.000 Bailey! I like it. 05:13.000 --> 05:14.000 Go talk to Johnny, all right? 05:14.000 --> 05:15.000 Okay. 05:15.000 --> 05:16.000 Okay. 05:25.000 --> 05:26.000 Hey, Johnny! 05:26.000 --> 05:27.000 Yeah? 05:27.000 --> 05:29.000 Should we talk with you just a second? 05:29.000 --> 05:30.000 Sure. 05:34.000 --> 05:37.000 Have we got a project to discuss with you? 05:37.000 --> 05:39.000 It's a public service project. 05:40.000 --> 05:42.000 Oh, come on, Johnny. 05:42.000 --> 05:45.000 Look, man, I have enough trouble staying awake as it is. 05:45.000 --> 05:48.000 Look, you and I both know all we ever run is forest fire response. 05:48.000 --> 05:50.000 Now, we want to do something just a little bit different. 05:50.000 --> 05:51.000 I'll bet. 05:51.000 --> 05:54.000 We want to do an interview program with local citizens. 05:54.000 --> 05:55.000 It could be anybody. 05:55.000 --> 05:57.000 Right, and here's the punch. 05:57.000 --> 05:58.000 We want you to do the interviewing. 05:58.000 --> 06:00.000 What do you say about that, huh? 06:00.000 --> 06:01.000 I don't do interviews. 06:01.000 --> 06:03.000 That's in my contract. 06:03.000 --> 06:07.000 You don't have a contract. 06:07.000 --> 06:10.000 Well, if I had one, it would be in there. 06:10.000 --> 06:11.000 Shouldn't I have a contract? 06:11.000 --> 06:14.000 Come on, Johnny. 06:14.000 --> 06:15.000 No, man, I'm not doing it. 06:15.000 --> 06:18.000 I mean, those shows are so boring. 06:18.000 --> 06:20.000 You don't even want to talk about it. 06:20.000 --> 06:21.000 No. 06:21.000 --> 06:23.000 Great. 06:23.000 --> 06:26.000 Bailey's first chance to produce a show, 06:26.000 --> 06:29.000 something that she has always dreamed about. 06:29.000 --> 06:34.000 Of course, now that's no big deal to you. 06:34.000 --> 06:36.000 It means everything to this young lady right here. 06:36.000 --> 06:37.000 But that's all right. 06:37.000 --> 06:38.000 Forget about it. 06:38.000 --> 06:40.000 She'll get over it. 06:40.000 --> 06:43.000 Oh, it'll take time. 06:43.000 --> 06:46.000 Time eventually heals all wounds. 06:46.000 --> 06:52.000 That is so low. 06:52.000 --> 06:58.000 Are you going to do it or not? 06:58.000 --> 07:00.000 Attention, concerned citizens. 07:00.000 --> 07:03.000 Got a cause, got a gripe, got an interesting story to tell. 07:03.000 --> 07:05.000 You want to make big money at home in your spare time 07:05.000 --> 07:07.000 or you just want to be interviewed live on the air 07:07.000 --> 07:09.000 by your very own Dr. Fever? 07:09.000 --> 07:12.000 Well, call our veteran producer, Bailey Quarters, 07:12.000 --> 07:14.000 at WKRP in Cincinnati. 07:14.000 --> 07:16.000 That's Bailey Quarters. 07:16.000 --> 07:17.000 Call today. 07:17.000 --> 07:21.000 Our operators are standing by. 07:21.000 --> 07:22.000 How's that? 07:22.000 --> 07:24.000 Thanks, Johnny. 07:24.000 --> 07:26.000 Hey, before you leave, 07:26.000 --> 07:36.000 can either of you explain this? 07:36.000 --> 07:57.000 It looks like a Hawaiian Tupperware party. 07:57.000 --> 07:59.000 Hello, Mr. Carlson. 07:59.000 --> 08:00.000 Hello, Jennifer. 08:00.000 --> 08:03.000 Look, Jennifer, I'm going down to my club for lunch and a swim. 08:03.000 --> 08:05.000 These people are here for... 08:05.000 --> 08:06.000 Don't tell me. 08:06.000 --> 08:08.000 I don't want to know. 08:08.000 --> 08:14.000 I love surprises. 08:14.000 --> 08:15.000 Excuse me, Jennifer. 08:15.000 --> 08:17.000 Could I speak to you for a second? 08:17.000 --> 08:19.000 Sure. 08:19.000 --> 08:22.000 Jennifer, I have interviewed eight people so far, 08:22.000 --> 08:26.000 and they all seem to be rather weird. 08:26.000 --> 08:27.000 So? 08:27.000 --> 08:29.000 So I'm in over my head. 08:29.000 --> 08:31.000 I can't do this. 08:31.000 --> 08:32.000 Sure you can. 08:32.000 --> 08:33.000 No, I can't, Jennifer. 08:33.000 --> 08:36.000 Look, Bailey, your ambition is to be a broadcast executive. 08:36.000 --> 08:37.000 You told me that. 08:37.000 --> 08:40.000 But I'm not good at interviewing strangers. 08:40.000 --> 08:41.000 Get good at it. 08:41.000 --> 08:48.000 This is your big chance. 08:48.000 --> 08:49.000 Okay. 08:49.000 --> 08:51.000 You're going to find a great guest. 08:51.000 --> 08:55.000 Believe me, they can all be crazy. 08:55.000 --> 08:58.000 Okay, Jennifer, send in the next one. 08:58.000 --> 09:05.000 That's a girl. 09:05.000 --> 09:10.000 Mr. Eisenhower? 09:10.000 --> 09:21.000 You're next. 09:21.000 --> 09:25.000 Okay, Jennifer, send in the next one. 09:25.000 --> 09:27.000 How's it going, Bailey? 09:27.000 --> 09:28.000 Hi, Venus. 09:28.000 --> 09:29.000 How's Mrs. Olson? 09:29.000 --> 09:30.000 Who? 09:30.000 --> 09:32.000 Your mother's friend. 09:32.000 --> 09:33.000 Oh, yeah. 09:33.000 --> 09:34.000 She's fine. 09:34.000 --> 09:37.000 Took the bus back on home. 09:37.000 --> 09:38.000 How's it going? 09:38.000 --> 09:39.000 Terrible. 09:39.000 --> 09:40.000 Can I help? 09:40.000 --> 09:43.000 I don't think so. 09:43.000 --> 09:44.000 I'm Mrs. Woodruff. 09:44.000 --> 09:46.000 Your receptionist sent me back. 09:46.000 --> 09:49.000 Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Woodruff? 09:49.000 --> 09:54.000 I'm Bailey Quarters, and this is Venus Flytrap, one of our DJs. 09:54.000 --> 09:55.000 Hello. 09:55.000 --> 09:56.000 Hi. 09:56.000 --> 09:57.000 Have a seat. 09:57.000 --> 09:58.000 Thank you. 09:58.000 --> 09:59.000 Okay. 09:59.000 --> 10:05.000 Now, Mrs. Woodruff, can you tell me briefly why you would like to be interviewed on our 10:05.000 --> 10:06.000 show? 10:06.000 --> 10:07.000 Yes. 10:07.000 --> 10:19.000 I feel I have a certain responsibility to other earthlings. 10:19.000 --> 10:21.000 People who live on earth? 10:21.000 --> 10:23.000 Oh, right. 10:23.000 --> 10:26.000 I'm sorry. 10:26.000 --> 10:32.000 I think I'll split. 10:32.000 --> 10:37.000 You see, my hatchback supreme broke down on a deserted stretch of highway. 10:37.000 --> 10:41.000 Now that's when I saw the incredibly bright light in a field and felt myself compelled 10:41.000 --> 10:43.000 to walk toward it. 10:43.000 --> 10:46.000 I think I'll stay. 10:46.000 --> 10:53.000 Before I knew it, I was surrounded by a group of strange people in gold lame suits. 10:53.000 --> 10:58.000 That would either be the temptations of the Fortox. 10:58.000 --> 11:01.000 Go on, Mrs. Woodruff. 11:01.000 --> 11:09.000 Well, anyhow, to make a long internationally copyrighted story short, I was beamed aboard 11:09.000 --> 11:16.000 their spaceship, what they call a Get Gone, and transported to Ha-cha-cha number three. 11:16.000 --> 11:19.000 That's what you people call Mars. 11:19.000 --> 11:22.000 Did this place have heavy metal screens on the windows? 11:22.000 --> 11:24.000 Oh, yes. 11:24.000 --> 11:26.000 Lucky guess. 11:26.000 --> 11:32.000 Well, anyhow, I was held on number three for about two or three weeks before I gained the 11:32.000 --> 11:35.000 confidence of Ernst, the divisional commander. 11:35.000 --> 11:40.000 I guess it was just a matter of knowing the right people because Ernst got me transferred 11:40.000 --> 11:43.000 to the Caves of Grin, which was minimum security. 11:43.000 --> 11:47.000 Well, still is, I guess. 11:47.000 --> 11:48.000 That was lucky. 11:48.000 --> 11:50.000 Yes. 11:50.000 --> 11:56.000 Anyhow, one day I'm just sitting around minding my own business when a Drell comes up, who's 11:56.000 --> 12:01.000 obviously had one too many wowies to drink. 12:01.000 --> 12:08.000 Well, I got his joy stopper away from him and shot him twice right through the knurl. 12:08.000 --> 12:12.000 Then I made my way back to Cincinnati. 12:12.000 --> 12:14.000 But you're okay now. 12:14.000 --> 12:15.000 Oh, yes. 12:15.000 --> 12:17.000 Well, except they're still after me. 12:17.000 --> 12:23.000 Ernst wants our son back. 12:23.000 --> 12:26.000 I can't really blame him. 12:26.000 --> 12:30.000 Okay, Mrs. Woodruff, I think that's all I need to know right now. 12:30.000 --> 12:32.000 I'll be in touch. 12:32.000 --> 12:35.000 Oh, here's my telephone number. 12:35.000 --> 12:44.000 It's unlisted, naturally. 12:44.000 --> 12:46.000 Are all your interviews like that? 12:46.000 --> 12:49.000 Yes. 12:49.000 --> 12:51.000 Look, don't worry. 12:51.000 --> 12:53.000 The next one comes to that door is going to be great. 12:53.000 --> 12:56.000 Trust me. 12:56.000 --> 12:58.000 Hi. 12:58.000 --> 13:04.000 Speaking of drills. 13:04.000 --> 13:07.000 Having troubles, Miss Producer? 13:07.000 --> 13:08.000 No. 13:08.000 --> 13:10.000 Everything's just fine. 13:10.000 --> 13:11.000 Come on now. 13:11.000 --> 13:14.000 I've been watching these nuts come and go. 13:14.000 --> 13:15.000 Things are busy. 13:15.000 --> 13:16.000 Okay. 13:16.000 --> 13:18.000 But I know the perfect guest. 13:18.000 --> 13:19.000 You do? 13:19.000 --> 13:20.000 Sure. 13:20.000 --> 13:28.000 I mean, not only is this person charming, dynamic, but fairly eloquent to boot. 13:28.000 --> 13:29.000 Who? 13:29.000 --> 13:33.000 Me. 13:33.000 --> 13:35.000 What's so funny? 13:35.000 --> 13:39.000 I'm sorry, but I don't think it would be quite right for the first show. 13:39.000 --> 13:41.000 Maybe later on. 13:41.000 --> 13:43.000 I'm trying to help you out and you're laughing at me. 13:43.000 --> 13:46.000 But Herb, you are always trying to get on the air. 13:46.000 --> 13:47.000 That's not true. 13:47.000 --> 13:50.000 Besides, what do you know about producing a show anyway? 13:50.000 --> 13:51.000 Excuse me. 13:51.000 --> 13:52.000 Is Andy around? 13:52.000 --> 13:55.000 Here's the man who should be in charge of this operation. 13:55.000 --> 13:56.000 Who? 13:56.000 --> 13:57.000 What? 13:57.000 --> 13:58.000 Where? 13:58.000 --> 13:59.000 Les should be in charge. 13:59.000 --> 14:00.000 When? 14:00.000 --> 14:01.000 Why? 14:01.000 --> 14:02.000 See, he's a journalist. 14:02.000 --> 14:03.000 He has his ear on the pulse of the nation. 14:03.000 --> 14:04.000 What's this all about, Herb? 14:04.000 --> 14:06.000 I mean, this man knows the ins and outs. 14:06.000 --> 14:08.000 He has his nose to the ground. 14:08.000 --> 14:10.000 What's happening? 14:10.000 --> 14:11.000 Come on, Les. 14:11.000 --> 14:13.000 Andy's really blown at this time. 14:13.000 --> 14:16.000 Let's go tell the big guy and put an end to this right now. 14:16.000 --> 14:18.000 What's this all about, Herb? 14:26.000 --> 14:27.000 What? 14:27.000 --> 14:29.000 We got a problem, big guy. 14:29.000 --> 14:30.000 Well, solve it. 14:30.000 --> 14:31.000 Go get Travis. 14:31.000 --> 14:33.000 Travis caused the problem. 14:33.000 --> 14:36.000 Well, Herb, take this and go stand over in the corner. 14:36.000 --> 14:38.000 Les, you take this. 14:38.000 --> 14:40.000 Stand right over there. 14:40.000 --> 14:41.000 And hold on to that, Lur. 14:41.000 --> 14:43.000 Don't let it out of your hand. 14:43.000 --> 14:46.000 Big guy, Bailey's messing up the interview show. 14:46.000 --> 14:47.000 What interview show? 14:47.000 --> 14:49.000 Les has much more experience than Bailey. 14:49.000 --> 14:50.000 Who's Bailey? 14:50.000 --> 14:53.000 Bailey's producing the interview show that Les should be producing 14:53.000 --> 14:55.000 and I should be his first guest. 14:55.000 --> 14:57.000 Herb. 14:57.000 --> 14:58.000 What did you say to upset Bailey? 14:58.000 --> 14:59.000 Nothing. 14:59.000 --> 15:02.000 Travis, I want you to pull this Bailey guy out of that new show. 15:02.000 --> 15:03.000 What? 15:03.000 --> 15:05.000 He's not doing a good job. 15:05.000 --> 15:06.000 Well, who told you that? 15:06.000 --> 15:09.000 Les. 15:09.000 --> 15:10.000 Come on, Les. 15:10.000 --> 15:12.000 He's going to do a good job on this thing. 15:12.000 --> 15:14.000 I really don't know what's going on, Andy. 15:14.000 --> 15:16.000 Well, then it must be Herb. 15:16.000 --> 15:18.000 Herb, what did you say to make Bailey cry? 15:18.000 --> 15:19.000 Bailey's crying? 15:19.000 --> 15:20.000 Yeah, right now in my office. 15:20.000 --> 15:22.000 Well, we can't have that. 15:22.000 --> 15:25.000 You're going to have to tell this man to pull himself together. 15:25.000 --> 15:29.000 Mr. Carlson, look, Bailey can get the job done. 15:29.000 --> 15:30.000 Oh, okay. 15:30.000 --> 15:31.000 Well, then Bailey stays. 15:31.000 --> 15:32.000 Everybody else out, okay? 15:32.000 --> 15:34.000 I've got a lot of work to do. 15:34.000 --> 15:35.000 Thank you, Mr. Carlson. 15:35.000 --> 15:39.000 Oh, and Herb, leave the girl alone. 15:39.000 --> 15:43.000 Herb, you fooling around with Jennifer again? 15:43.000 --> 15:44.000 Enough. 15:44.000 --> 15:45.000 Just get out of here, will you? 15:45.000 --> 15:46.000 I've got a station to run. 15:46.000 --> 15:48.000 But, big guy, I don't want to hear any big guy. 15:48.000 --> 15:49.000 Just get out. 15:49.000 --> 15:50.000 Go, go. 15:50.000 --> 15:51.000 I'm a busy man. 15:51.000 --> 15:52.000 Les! 15:52.000 --> 15:53.000 Yes? 15:53.000 --> 15:54.000 Excuse me, Miss. 15:54.000 --> 15:55.000 Are you all right? 15:55.000 --> 16:10.000 Yes. 16:10.000 --> 16:11.000 No, I don't know. 16:11.000 --> 16:12.000 I'm a doctor. 16:12.000 --> 16:13.000 Can I help? 16:13.000 --> 16:14.000 No. 16:14.000 --> 16:17.000 Did somebody call for a doctor? 16:17.000 --> 16:18.000 No. 16:18.000 --> 16:20.000 I'm here to be interviewed for a show. 16:20.000 --> 16:21.000 Really? 16:21.000 --> 16:22.000 Are you Bailey Quartus? 16:22.000 --> 16:23.000 Yes. 16:23.000 --> 16:25.000 I'm Dr. Hyman Monroe. 16:25.000 --> 16:28.000 I've just written a book on juvenile delinquency. 16:28.000 --> 16:29.000 Oh, that's nice. 16:29.000 --> 16:32.000 There are more interesting fields. 16:32.000 --> 16:34.000 Oh, no, there's not either. 16:34.000 --> 16:37.000 Well, is there anything you need to know about me? 16:37.000 --> 16:43.000 I hold several degrees and I'm prepared to discuss innovative theories on child psychology. 16:43.000 --> 16:44.000 That's wonderful. 16:44.000 --> 16:45.000 Thank you. 16:45.000 --> 16:48.000 Can you be here and ready to go on the air tomorrow at noon? 16:48.000 --> 16:50.000 Noon tomorrow? 16:50.000 --> 16:52.000 Yes, I can. 16:52.000 --> 16:53.000 Oh, thank you, Doctor. 16:53.000 --> 16:54.000 Thank you. 16:54.000 --> 16:57.000 And are you sure you're all right? 16:57.000 --> 16:59.000 I have never been better in my life. 16:59.000 --> 17:00.000 Good. 17:00.000 --> 17:01.000 I'll see you tomorrow. 17:01.000 --> 17:03.000 Okay, thank you. 17:03.000 --> 17:23.000 I did it. 17:23.000 --> 17:32.000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Cincinnati Beat, the show that probes the psyche and the soul of Cincinnati, city of contrast. 17:32.000 --> 17:34.000 I'm Dr. John Fever. 17:34.000 --> 17:37.000 Our producer is Miss Bailey Orders. 17:37.000 --> 17:43.000 And our guest today is Dr. Hyman Monroe, one of the people that makes this city tick. 17:43.000 --> 17:44.000 Hi. 17:44.000 --> 17:48.000 Hi. 17:48.000 --> 17:49.000 Hi. 17:49.000 --> 17:52.000 Hi. 17:52.000 --> 17:53.000 Hi. 17:53.000 --> 17:54.000 Hi. 17:54.000 --> 17:58.000 Perhaps I should call you Dr. Monroe. 17:58.000 --> 17:59.000 Okay. 17:59.000 --> 18:03.000 Dr. Monroe, you are an authority on juvenile delinquency. 18:03.000 --> 18:08.000 That is correct, Dr. Fever. 18:08.000 --> 18:11.000 What's wrong with these kids today, Doctor? 18:11.000 --> 18:18.000 Oh, there are myriad answers to that complex question, Doctor. 18:18.000 --> 18:20.000 I see. 18:20.000 --> 18:28.000 However, I shall endeavor to explain in layman's terms all of the pertinent factors involved. 18:28.000 --> 18:29.000 Fine. 18:29.000 --> 18:33.000 I'll just get real comfortable, then. 18:33.000 --> 18:49.000 First of all, I have here documented proof that the supramolecular structure of a child is markedly dissimilar to that of an adult. 18:49.000 --> 18:51.000 Really? 18:51.000 --> 19:14.000 Furthermore, it has been suggested, and not without credibility, I might add, that the temporal lobe of every child is under constant bombardment by synaptic nerve impulses. 19:14.000 --> 19:17.000 You see what I'm getting at, Doctor? 19:17.000 --> 19:21.000 Certainly I do, but perhaps you could explain to our audience. 19:21.000 --> 19:23.000 Oh, sure. 19:23.000 --> 19:29.000 Well, now, this is... 19:29.000 --> 19:32.000 Can everybody see this? 19:32.000 --> 19:37.000 This is radio, Doctor. 19:37.000 --> 19:47.000 Well, what this chart shows is that the chromosomal infringement occurs in the early stages of meiosis, not later. 19:47.000 --> 19:52.000 I repeat, not later. 19:52.000 --> 19:54.000 That's wonderful. 19:54.000 --> 19:59.000 Doctor, how do you tie this in with, say, stealing hubcaps? 19:59.000 --> 20:14.000 Well, my studies establish, without a shadow of a doubt, that children are, by adult standards, insane. 20:14.000 --> 20:18.000 And more than a little immature. 20:18.000 --> 20:21.000 And that's bad. 20:21.000 --> 20:23.000 Well, sure. 20:23.000 --> 20:25.000 So what should we do about it? 20:25.000 --> 20:31.000 Well, we should clean the little gutter snipes up. 20:31.000 --> 20:34.000 So tell me, Doctor, where did you receive your degree? 20:34.000 --> 20:39.000 In Long Beach, California, Doctor. 20:39.000 --> 20:41.000 Long Beach State College. 20:41.000 --> 20:43.000 Oh, no, no, no. 20:43.000 --> 20:49.000 From a man at the Casa de Soma apartment. 20:49.000 --> 20:56.000 He was Buddy or Junior or something like that. 20:56.000 --> 20:58.000 No, it was Bubba. 20:58.000 --> 21:01.000 Bubba Weinberger. 21:01.000 --> 21:10.000 And Bubba knew that I knew all there was to know. 21:10.000 --> 21:11.000 Bailey, where are you going? 21:11.000 --> 21:12.000 I'm getting out of here. 21:12.000 --> 21:14.000 You can't leave your shows on. 21:14.000 --> 21:16.000 The show is a disaster. 21:16.000 --> 21:17.000 No, it isn't. 21:17.000 --> 21:18.000 It is, Jennifer. Listen. 21:18.000 --> 21:20.000 Their feeding habits are disgusting. 21:20.000 --> 21:23.000 The little babies are always dirty. 21:23.000 --> 21:29.000 And what about shortness? How do you explain that? 21:29.000 --> 21:32.000 Oh, I wouldn't want to be in your moccasins right now, young lady. 21:32.000 --> 21:33.000 I think you're right. 21:33.000 --> 21:38.000 Come on, let's see if the big guys are listening. 21:38.000 --> 21:40.000 How can you let them talk to you like that? 21:40.000 --> 21:43.000 I don't know. I'm just not very good at talking back. 21:43.000 --> 21:45.000 Well, you should stand up for yourself. 21:45.000 --> 21:48.000 Okay, who's responsible? That's all I want to know. 21:48.000 --> 21:49.000 Bailey. 21:49.000 --> 21:50.000 Well, that's it for him. He's out. 21:50.000 --> 21:51.000 Listen, Carlson. 21:51.000 --> 21:56.000 Not now, honey. I've got to get this nut off the air. 21:56.000 --> 21:57.000 I'm getting out of here. 21:57.000 --> 21:59.000 Bailey, stay and face up to this. 21:59.000 --> 22:01.000 If you can't handle her, bless and the big guy, 22:01.000 --> 22:04.000 who in this world can you handle? 22:04.000 --> 22:05.000 You're right. 22:05.000 --> 22:08.000 Okay. 22:08.000 --> 22:10.000 Get him, Herb. Let me at him. 22:10.000 --> 22:15.000 Hey, guy. Somebody put a record on this. 22:15.000 --> 22:18.000 Why don't we pause now? 22:18.000 --> 22:20.000 Look out! 22:20.000 --> 22:21.000 This is not an attack. 22:21.000 --> 22:26.000 Oh! 22:26.000 --> 22:30.000 Jennifer, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to cry. 22:30.000 --> 22:35.000 Bailey, women who want to be broadcast producers do not cry in public. 22:35.000 --> 22:38.000 Then I'll cry in my car on the way home. 22:38.000 --> 22:41.000 That's the way men do it. 22:41.000 --> 22:45.000 They're crazy in there. They're just like children. 22:45.000 --> 22:47.000 Bye, guys. 22:47.000 --> 22:51.000 Jennifer, find that Bailey guy and send him into my office. 22:51.000 --> 22:52.000 I'm Bailey. 22:52.000 --> 22:53.000 What? You're a... 22:53.000 --> 22:58.000 I'm the producer of Cincinnati Beat. 22:58.000 --> 23:00.000 Oh, Bailey, you're really in trouble now. 23:00.000 --> 23:06.000 Shut up, Herb. 23:06.000 --> 23:08.000 Bailey, you can't talk to Herb like that. 23:08.000 --> 23:10.000 You too, Les. 23:10.000 --> 23:11.000 Now, wait just a minute, young lady. 23:11.000 --> 23:13.000 I think the least you can do is give us a... 23:13.000 --> 23:15.000 Carlson, I can explain this whole thing. 23:15.000 --> 23:17.000 I want an explanation out of you, young man. I'll ask for it. 23:17.000 --> 23:20.000 No. I'll explain it, Andy. 23:20.000 --> 23:25.000 Mr. Carlson, I'm just starting out and I made a mistake. 23:25.000 --> 23:28.000 But this show will get better if you let me continue. 23:28.000 --> 23:30.000 Oh, gee, Bailey, I don't know. 23:30.000 --> 23:35.000 Mr. Carlson, has everything you've ever done on this radio station always worked perfectly? 23:35.000 --> 23:42.000 Well, not perfectly. 23:42.000 --> 23:46.000 Hey, Ben, I deserve the same chance to be imperfect. 23:46.000 --> 23:48.000 I'm just a shy person, that's all. 23:48.000 --> 23:50.000 You don't seem too shy to me. 23:50.000 --> 24:00.000 Oh. Well, Ben, can you and Andy and I go into your office and discuss this thing calmly? 24:00.000 --> 24:02.000 Well, okay. That sounds like a good idea. 24:02.000 --> 24:03.000 Isn't it, Travis? 24:03.000 --> 24:19.000 Oh, that's fine with me. 24:19.000 --> 24:34.000 Did I say send in the clowns, huh? 24:34.000 --> 25:03.000 Sure.