WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:12.000 I married Joan, what a girl, what a world, what a life. 00:12.000 --> 00:20.000 Oh, I married Joan, what a mind, love and pride, what a wife to do. 00:20.000 --> 00:27.000 He is gay all day, she keeps my heart laughing, never know where her brain has flown. 00:27.000 --> 00:34.000 To eat his own, can he not ask why I married Joan? 00:34.000 --> 00:41.000 The Joan Davis Show, I Married Joan, America's favorite comedy show. 00:41.000 --> 00:49.000 Starring America's Queen of Comedy, Joan Davis, as Mrs. Joan Stevens. 00:49.000 --> 01:00.000 And featuring Jim Backus, as Judge Bradley Stevens. 01:06.000 --> 01:12.000 I married Joan. 01:12.000 --> 01:17.000 I tell you Brad, not only as a district attorney, but as a man, it just makes me furious. 01:17.000 --> 01:19.000 Thanks. 01:19.000 --> 01:23.000 Here's this phony talent scout racket right under our noses and we can't do a thing about it. 01:23.000 --> 01:27.000 But it's so obviously phony, you wouldn't think anybody would fall for it. Sugar? 01:27.000 --> 01:28.000 No thanks. 01:28.000 --> 01:35.000 Well, these two promoters prey on bored housewives and apparently it's a cinch to convince them they can become great actresses. 01:35.000 --> 01:39.000 Then they string them along until they get some money out of them and then they disappear. 01:39.000 --> 01:43.000 Still say a woman would have to be pretty foolish to fall for a racket like that. 01:43.000 --> 01:45.000 Where do they find these bird brains? 01:45.000 --> 01:51.000 Anywhere. They walk right up to them in department stores, supermarkets, drugstores. 01:51.000 --> 01:55.000 And the sad part of it is that after a woman is hooked, she refuses to testify. 01:55.000 --> 01:56.000 Yeah. 01:56.000 --> 01:59.000 You know who I feel sorry for? The husbands. 01:59.000 --> 02:18.000 Imagine being married to a woman foolish enough and gullible enough to fall for a thing like that. 02:18.000 --> 02:21.000 Hold that pose. Don't move. 02:21.000 --> 02:24.000 Have you ever seen anything like this, Joe? 02:24.000 --> 02:26.000 There is only one way to describe this. 02:26.000 --> 02:28.000 Sheer poetry. 02:28.000 --> 02:30.000 What do you think, Joe? 02:30.000 --> 02:34.000 We've come to the end of our search, Harry. We've found exactly what we've been looking for. 02:34.000 --> 02:36.000 What's the matter, fellas? Did you lose something? 02:36.000 --> 02:38.000 No, no, no. 02:38.000 --> 02:45.000 Oh! 02:45.000 --> 02:47.000 Joe, is this a doll? 02:47.000 --> 02:48.000 What? 02:48.000 --> 02:49.000 A living one? 02:49.000 --> 02:50.000 I'm telling you. 02:50.000 --> 02:51.000 At the counter? 02:51.000 --> 02:52.000 Never dreamed. 02:52.000 --> 02:53.000 Is this an angel? 02:53.000 --> 02:56.000 A doll. A living doll. I tell you, Harry, you just can't get over it. 02:56.000 --> 03:01.000 But imagine our being lucky enough to walk into a drugstore and find a dream like this. 03:01.000 --> 03:05.000 Listen to me when I tell you, Harry, a star is born. 03:05.000 --> 03:07.000 Madam, perhaps I'd better explain. 03:07.000 --> 03:09.000 Me and my partner are talent agents from Hollywood. 03:09.000 --> 03:14.000 It's our responsibility to find new personalities and make top flight actresses out of them overnight. 03:14.000 --> 03:17.000 You are exactly what motion pictures need today. 03:17.000 --> 03:18.000 But exactly. 03:18.000 --> 03:20.000 Motion pictures need me? 03:20.000 --> 03:25.000 Gosh, television must have hurt to movies more than I thought. 03:25.000 --> 03:31.000 Lady, I have been a talent scout for 30 years, and when there's any talent around, I can see it. 03:31.000 --> 03:32.000 He can see it. 03:32.000 --> 03:36.000 It only took one look for me to see that you had that certain, that certain something. 03:36.000 --> 03:38.000 Only one look. 03:38.000 --> 03:41.000 It's hard to describe, but when you've got it, you've got it, and you've got it. 03:41.000 --> 03:43.000 Oh, she's got it. 03:43.000 --> 03:45.000 Oh, sure I've got it. 03:45.000 --> 03:51.000 I got a whole drawer full, and I, I don't think I know what you're talking about, fellas. 03:51.000 --> 03:54.000 It's a certain magic that happens only once in a generation. 03:54.000 --> 03:56.000 Peter Barra had it. 03:56.000 --> 03:57.000 Clara Bow had it. 03:57.000 --> 03:59.000 Marilyn Monroe has it. 03:59.000 --> 04:01.000 And you have it. 04:01.000 --> 04:03.000 Let me be the first to congratulate you. 04:03.000 --> 04:05.000 And let me be the second. 04:17.000 --> 04:19.000 Sheba. 04:19.000 --> 04:22.000 Come back, little Sheba. 04:22.000 --> 04:24.000 I'm a little Sheba. 04:30.000 --> 04:33.000 I just love Pepe music. 04:45.000 --> 04:47.000 An Oscar? 04:47.000 --> 04:49.000 For me? 04:49.000 --> 04:52.000 Thank you. 04:54.000 --> 04:57.000 Members of the Academy, I, I simply don't know how to thank you. 04:57.000 --> 05:00.000 But of course I couldn't have done it alone. 05:00.000 --> 05:06.000 I must thank the members of my crew, and also the members of the entire staff. 05:06.000 --> 05:08.000 And my, no autographs, please. 05:10.000 --> 05:12.000 Brad. 05:12.000 --> 05:14.000 Oh, Brad! 05:14.000 --> 05:16.000 I was wondering what your pan was doing in my pan. 05:16.000 --> 05:18.000 Well, Joni, what's going on? 05:18.000 --> 05:20.000 What was that act you were just doing? 05:20.000 --> 05:22.000 Brad. 05:22.000 --> 05:23.000 Look at me. 05:23.000 --> 05:24.000 Sure. 05:24.000 --> 05:26.000 Well, what do you see? 05:26.000 --> 05:29.000 I see you, and I like it. 05:29.000 --> 05:31.000 Is that all? 05:31.000 --> 05:34.000 Are you blind? 05:34.000 --> 05:37.000 Can't you tell that I have it? 05:37.000 --> 05:38.000 What it? 05:38.000 --> 05:40.000 It's it. 05:40.000 --> 05:48.000 I'm going to be a big movie star like Marilyn Monroe and Esther Williams. 05:52.000 --> 05:56.000 Joan, why don't you tell me the whole story? 05:56.000 --> 05:58.000 Well, there really isn't very much to tell, Brad. 05:58.000 --> 06:04.000 You see, I was sitting in this drugstore, and two men came over to me, and they just loved my face. 06:04.000 --> 06:05.000 They couldn't get over it. 06:05.000 --> 06:06.000 This is Joan. 06:06.000 --> 06:07.000 I'm posting this. 06:07.000 --> 06:08.000 Two men in a drugstore? 06:08.000 --> 06:10.000 Wait a minute, Joan. 06:10.000 --> 06:14.000 You mean that two men approached you in a drugstore and told you that you had great talent, 06:14.000 --> 06:16.000 and they could make a great movie actress out of you? 06:16.000 --> 06:17.000 Yes. 06:17.000 --> 06:19.000 But how did you know, dear? 06:19.000 --> 06:21.000 Oh, come on, Esther. 06:21.000 --> 06:22.000 It's around. 06:22.000 --> 06:23.000 How do you like that? 06:23.000 --> 06:25.000 I'm starting to get famous already. 06:25.000 --> 06:28.000 Joan, I'd better wash up for dinner. 06:28.000 --> 06:29.000 Yes, dear. 06:29.000 --> 06:30.000 But they just love my face. 06:30.000 --> 06:31.000 This face, Brad. 06:31.000 --> 06:33.000 They really do. 06:33.000 --> 06:35.000 Oh, you darling. 06:35.000 --> 06:39.000 Jim, look in that movie talent racket you were telling me about. 06:39.000 --> 06:41.000 I found a woman who will be willing to testify. 06:41.000 --> 06:42.000 You did? 06:42.000 --> 06:43.000 Hey, that's great. 06:43.000 --> 06:44.000 Just what we need. 06:44.000 --> 06:46.000 Who is this sucker? 06:46.000 --> 06:47.000 My wife. 06:47.000 --> 06:49.000 Holy smokes, Brad. 06:49.000 --> 06:50.000 I'm sorry. 06:50.000 --> 06:52.000 It's nothing personal in what I said, you know? 06:52.000 --> 06:53.000 I know. 06:53.000 --> 06:55.000 But what do we do now? 06:55.000 --> 06:56.000 Well, don't say a word to Joan. 06:56.000 --> 06:58.000 Just let her go ahead with everything. 06:58.000 --> 07:02.000 They'll audition her and tell her she needs a week's instruction, 07:02.000 --> 07:04.000 and promise to give her a screen test at a major studio. 07:04.000 --> 07:07.000 Then I'll give you some marked bills for her to give them. 07:07.000 --> 07:10.000 That way we can catch these two fellas red-handed. 07:10.000 --> 07:11.000 You know something, Harry? 07:11.000 --> 07:12.000 I'm worried. 07:12.000 --> 07:15.000 I don't think that Mrs. Stevens fell for it. 07:15.000 --> 07:17.000 I think she's a little too smart. 07:17.000 --> 07:18.000 What? 07:18.000 --> 07:21.000 The only thing that worries me is whether she's got brains enough to find the place. 07:26.000 --> 07:27.000 Come in. 07:29.000 --> 07:31.000 Sorry I'm late, fellas. 07:31.000 --> 07:33.000 I had a hard time finding the place. 07:33.000 --> 07:37.000 Mrs. Stevens, even more beautiful than I remembered you. 07:37.000 --> 07:39.000 Oh, thank you, Mr. Capper. 07:39.000 --> 07:40.000 Really? 07:40.000 --> 07:42.000 Now, shall we begin with your audition? 07:42.000 --> 07:43.000 Audition? 07:43.000 --> 07:44.000 Of course. 07:44.000 --> 07:46.000 We must be absolutely sure that you have talent. 07:46.000 --> 07:49.000 We can't afford to take a chance because millions of dollars are involved here. 07:49.000 --> 07:50.000 Let's begin with the voice test, Joe. 07:50.000 --> 07:51.000 The talent chart? 07:51.000 --> 07:52.000 The talent chart at once. 07:52.000 --> 07:54.000 Now, Mrs. Stevens, repeat after me. 07:54.000 --> 07:59.000 How now, brown owl? 07:59.000 --> 08:02.000 How now, brown... 08:02.000 --> 08:04.000 Joe, did you hear that? 08:04.000 --> 08:05.000 Did I hear it? 08:05.000 --> 08:08.000 All the music of those tones, what timbre, what pitch! 08:08.000 --> 08:09.000 Oh! 08:09.000 --> 08:12.000 You passed your voice test with flying colors. 08:12.000 --> 08:14.000 Voice test 100%. 08:14.000 --> 08:15.000 Congratulations. 08:15.000 --> 08:16.000 Oh, yes. 08:16.000 --> 08:18.000 And now, Harry, it's time for the emotion test. 08:18.000 --> 08:19.000 Are you ready, Mrs. Stevens? 08:19.000 --> 08:21.000 I suppose so. 08:21.000 --> 08:22.000 We start with anger. 08:22.000 --> 08:26.000 You are in a situation where you are angry but positively furious. 08:26.000 --> 08:30.000 Now, will you give us some anger? 08:30.000 --> 08:34.000 Joe! 08:34.000 --> 08:38.000 Oh, experience. 08:38.000 --> 08:40.000 Joe, Joe, Joe. 08:40.000 --> 08:42.000 Yes, I'm all right now, Mr. Dwight. 08:42.000 --> 08:43.000 Give us some, Dwight, give us some. 08:43.000 --> 08:45.000 Oh, the ticker, you know. 08:45.000 --> 08:46.000 Oh, the goose bumps. 08:46.000 --> 08:49.000 I would say anger 100%. 08:49.000 --> 08:53.000 Now, Mrs. Stevens, you have heard something that's made you very happy, very happy. 08:53.000 --> 08:55.000 You are absolutely ecstatic. 08:55.000 --> 09:01.000 Now, may we have happiness? 09:01.000 --> 09:29.000 Oh, just great, just great, Mrs. Stevens, just great. 09:29.000 --> 09:31.000 Oh, my God. 09:31.000 --> 09:32.000 Now, Mrs. Stevens, sadness. 09:32.000 --> 09:33.000 Sadness. 09:33.000 --> 09:34.000 Shall we continue now with sadness? 09:34.000 --> 09:35.000 A great change. 09:35.000 --> 09:37.000 Now, in this situation, you've had some bad news. 09:37.000 --> 09:39.000 You're very sad. 09:39.000 --> 09:47.000 Now, may we see sorrow? 09:47.000 --> 10:01.000 Oh, boy, is she sad. 10:01.000 --> 10:03.000 Oh, saddest yet. 10:03.000 --> 10:06.000 Sadness 100%. 10:06.000 --> 10:09.000 I guess I overdid a little. 10:09.000 --> 10:11.000 No, no, no, just great. 10:11.000 --> 10:14.000 Mrs. Stevens, I can't stand it. 10:14.000 --> 10:16.000 You can do anything. 10:16.000 --> 10:17.000 Oh, anything. 10:17.000 --> 10:21.000 Now, Mrs. Stevens, may we see surprise? 10:21.000 --> 10:22.000 Hate? 10:22.000 --> 10:23.000 Fear? 10:23.000 --> 10:24.000 Freedom? 10:24.000 --> 10:25.000 Jealousy? 10:25.000 --> 10:26.000 Envy? 10:26.000 --> 10:27.000 Grudge? 10:27.000 --> 10:28.000 Disgust? 10:28.000 --> 10:29.000 Pain? 10:29.000 --> 10:30.000 Porn? 10:30.000 --> 10:31.000 Charity? 10:31.000 --> 10:33.000 Oh, Mrs. Stevens, that's the most sensational display of acting I've ever seen. 10:33.000 --> 10:36.000 You passed your audition with flying colors. 10:36.000 --> 10:37.000 900%. 10:37.000 --> 10:38.000 She didn't get 900. 10:38.000 --> 10:39.000 Neither did I. 10:39.000 --> 10:40.000 Oh, Mrs. Stevens, congratulations. 10:40.000 --> 10:41.000 A day to be remembered. 10:41.000 --> 10:42.000 A day to be remembered. 10:42.000 --> 10:46.000 Oh, Mrs. Stevens, you're so talented. 10:46.000 --> 10:50.000 Your husband will be so pleased. 10:50.000 --> 10:52.000 Sit right down. 10:52.000 --> 10:53.000 Can you imagine? 10:53.000 --> 10:56.000 Never saw it, never saw it before. 10:56.000 --> 10:59.000 Now, Mrs. Stevens, we're going to tell you what we're going to do for you. 10:59.000 --> 11:02.000 We are going to give you one week of expert instruction. 11:02.000 --> 11:07.000 At the end of that time, you're going to get a screen test with a major studio. 11:07.000 --> 11:09.000 Oh, Mr. Trenwick, a screen test. 11:09.000 --> 11:14.000 There's going to be a few minor expenses involved in this test, a few tips here and there, but you won't mind that. 11:14.000 --> 11:16.000 Of course not, after all. 11:16.000 --> 11:18.000 What's a few minor tips? 11:18.000 --> 11:22.000 Absolutely, because what is $500, considering what you're going to get for it? 11:22.000 --> 11:23.000 Of course not. 11:23.000 --> 11:27.000 After all, what's $500? 11:27.000 --> 11:30.000 Yes, and remember, you're going to sign a million-dollar contract. 11:30.000 --> 11:32.000 That's right. 11:32.000 --> 11:34.000 Take it out of my million dollars. 11:34.000 --> 11:36.000 No, no, Mrs. Stevens. 11:36.000 --> 11:39.000 I don't think we'd like to have a thing like that happen. 11:39.000 --> 11:42.000 Everything you make, you keep. 11:42.000 --> 11:46.000 Where am I going to get $500? 11:46.000 --> 11:47.000 How about your husband? 11:47.000 --> 11:49.000 My husband? 11:49.000 --> 11:53.000 Well, what wife can get $500 from her husband? 11:53.000 --> 11:55.000 Don't you have girlfriends? 11:55.000 --> 11:57.000 You could borrow it from them. 11:57.000 --> 11:59.000 Borrow? 11:59.000 --> 12:01.000 Oh, yes, that's an idea. 12:01.000 --> 12:04.000 I could borrow it from the girls and... 12:04.000 --> 12:09.000 Oh, but I think I'm going to have an awfully tough time trying to talk him into it. 12:09.000 --> 12:11.000 What, a great actress like you? 12:11.000 --> 12:12.000 Harry. 12:12.000 --> 12:14.000 Why, it would be a cinch for you. 12:14.000 --> 12:17.000 I tell you what, why don't you try it on us right now, huh? 12:17.000 --> 12:19.000 Go ahead. 12:19.000 --> 12:28.000 Girls, I am devoted and loyal friend in dire need of $500. 12:28.000 --> 12:35.000 Could you, could you find it in your hearts to lend me the money? 12:35.000 --> 12:38.000 Could you? 12:38.000 --> 12:40.000 How could we recuse her, Agnes? 12:40.000 --> 12:41.000 I know I couldn't, Myrtle. 12:41.000 --> 12:44.000 We'd give you the money ourselves if we had our handbags here. 12:44.000 --> 12:46.000 In a minute. 12:46.000 --> 12:48.000 Oh, I can't wait to ask the girls. 12:48.000 --> 12:51.000 I didn't know it was going to be this easy. 12:51.000 --> 12:56.000 And girls, you must keep in mind the good neighbor policy because, 12:56.000 --> 13:01.000 after all, you know a friend in deed is a friend in need and... 13:01.000 --> 13:10.000 Could you, would you, could you find it in your hearts to lend me the money? 13:10.000 --> 13:27.000 Oh, no. 13:27.000 --> 13:29.000 Hello, lover. I... 13:29.000 --> 13:34.000 Oh, oh, oh. 13:34.000 --> 13:35.000 Joan, Joan. 13:35.000 --> 13:37.000 The doctor, dearie, just left. 13:37.000 --> 13:39.000 I have to have an operation. 13:39.000 --> 13:40.000 What? 13:40.000 --> 13:43.000 I have to have my left tonsil removed. 13:43.000 --> 13:46.000 $500. 13:46.000 --> 13:48.000 Cash or check, either one will do. 13:48.000 --> 13:51.000 $500? 13:51.000 --> 13:54.000 Joan, $500 for a tonsillectomy. 13:54.000 --> 13:59.000 It couldn't possibly be more than $150. 13:59.000 --> 14:01.000 Oh, a positive? 14:01.000 --> 14:03.000 Positive. 14:03.000 --> 14:05.000 But what if I have complications, dear? 14:05.000 --> 14:08.000 What kind of complications? 14:08.000 --> 14:10.000 $500 worth. 14:10.000 --> 14:12.000 Cash or check, either one will do. 14:12.000 --> 14:17.000 Well, that's a lot of complications for just one little tonsil. 14:17.000 --> 14:21.000 Yes, dear, but you see, this tonsil is so infected that it's running into my throat, 14:21.000 --> 14:25.000 and it's running into my eye, and running into my hand, see that? 14:25.000 --> 14:30.000 And it's running into my leg, and knee, and my ankle bone, and it's running, dear. 14:30.000 --> 14:31.000 Running? 14:31.000 --> 14:34.000 It's running into about $500. 14:34.000 --> 14:36.000 Cash or check, either one will do, see. 14:36.000 --> 14:41.000 Joan, why don't you admit what you really want the money for? 14:41.000 --> 14:44.000 Because you wouldn't give it to me if I admitted it. 14:44.000 --> 14:47.000 Oh, darn you, Brad, you're so smart. 14:47.000 --> 14:53.000 Joan, how do you know I wouldn't give you the money if you really told me what you wanted it for? 14:53.000 --> 14:57.000 I can just hear what you'd say if I came up to you and I said, 14:57.000 --> 15:01.000 Brad, give me $500 for my acting career. 15:01.000 --> 15:05.000 I'd simply say, here it is. 15:05.000 --> 15:10.000 Brad! 15:10.000 --> 15:16.000 Brad! 15:16.000 --> 15:20.000 Mr. Spencer was called to be on stage ready to make up for one o'clock, sir. 15:20.000 --> 15:22.000 Uh, honey, honey, can I help you? 15:22.000 --> 15:25.000 Oh, I'm looking for Mr. Montaigne. 15:25.000 --> 15:26.000 Right here. 15:26.000 --> 15:29.000 Mr. Montaigne, Mr. Treadwick told me to get right over here. 15:29.000 --> 15:30.000 Never mind explanations. 15:30.000 --> 15:32.000 Get into that dressing room over there and get your costume on. 15:32.000 --> 15:35.000 This delay has cost us $1,000 already. 15:35.000 --> 15:47.000 Oh, well, just take it out of my first week's salary. 15:47.000 --> 15:50.000 George, are you sure this is the right outfit? 15:50.000 --> 15:54.000 Imagine, they shot a leopard just for this. 15:54.000 --> 15:56.000 Okay, let's get on with the scene. 15:56.000 --> 15:58.000 Let's see, Miss, uh, Miss, uh... 15:58.000 --> 16:00.000 I'm Joanne Latour. 16:00.000 --> 16:02.000 Uh, I'd like you to meet our star. 16:02.000 --> 16:04.000 Would you mind stepping over here for a moment, please? 16:04.000 --> 16:06.000 Oh, not to. 16:06.000 --> 16:10.000 Yeah, right this way. 16:10.000 --> 16:13.000 Bonzo, Bonzo, this is Miss Latour. 16:13.000 --> 16:17.000 Miss Latour, this is Bonzo, our star. 16:17.000 --> 16:19.000 Now, remember, you have never seen a man before 16:19.000 --> 16:23.000 because you were lost in the jungle as a child and raised by the animals. 16:23.000 --> 16:25.000 But a plane crashes in the jungle, 16:25.000 --> 16:28.000 and the injured pilot lies hurt and tired over there. 16:28.000 --> 16:31.000 Now, you and Bonzo are taking your morning call at the airport. 16:31.000 --> 16:32.000 You haven't even seen him. 16:32.000 --> 16:34.000 The first man you have ever seen. 16:34.000 --> 16:35.000 Got it? 16:35.000 --> 16:36.000 Well, I hope so. 16:36.000 --> 16:38.000 I'm a little nervous. 16:38.000 --> 16:39.000 Oh. 16:39.000 --> 16:41.000 Now, well, let's rehearse it once, shall we? 16:41.000 --> 16:44.000 Uh, Bonzo, you and Miss Latour will enter from over there. 16:44.000 --> 16:47.000 Traces, everyone. 16:47.000 --> 16:55.000 Come on, Bonzo. 16:55.000 --> 16:59.000 I'm ready for you now, please. 16:59.000 --> 17:00.000 Right down here, please. 17:00.000 --> 17:02.000 Feet up. 17:02.000 --> 17:04.000 Come on. 17:04.000 --> 17:05.000 Right on the set, please. 17:05.000 --> 17:08.000 Settle down, everybody. 17:08.000 --> 17:09.000 Let's go. Action, action. 17:09.000 --> 17:10.000 Come on. 17:10.000 --> 17:12.000 Frolick in, frolic in. 17:12.000 --> 17:23.000 Frolick along with Bonzo. 17:23.000 --> 17:26.000 You clumsy idiot. 17:26.000 --> 17:30.000 You've been on star foot. 17:30.000 --> 17:31.000 Are you all right, sir? 17:31.000 --> 17:33.000 I'm sorry, Bonzo. 17:33.000 --> 17:34.000 I didn't mean it. 17:34.000 --> 17:35.000 I tripped. 17:35.000 --> 17:36.000 You're in the jungle. 17:36.000 --> 17:37.000 You're not on your way to grammar school. 17:37.000 --> 17:38.000 You're happy. 17:38.000 --> 17:40.000 You're carefree. 17:40.000 --> 17:42.000 Oh, is that what you say, Bonzo? 17:42.000 --> 17:43.000 Fine. 17:43.000 --> 17:52.000 You do it. 17:52.000 --> 17:54.000 Thanks very much, old man. 17:54.000 --> 17:56.000 Okay, Mr. Cooley, you try it. 17:56.000 --> 17:59.000 All right. 17:59.000 --> 18:01.000 Come on, frolic in. 18:01.000 --> 18:02.000 Frolick the way Bonzo showed you. 18:02.000 --> 18:04.000 Come on, frolic along. 18:04.000 --> 18:13.000 Action. 18:13.000 --> 18:14.000 Oh, no, no. 18:14.000 --> 18:16.000 What's the matter with you anyway? 18:16.000 --> 18:19.000 I meant in the mood like Bonzo. 18:19.000 --> 18:27.000 Oh, in the mood. 18:27.000 --> 18:33.000 Bonzo's calling you huge and he wants to quit. 18:33.000 --> 18:34.000 Quit? 18:34.000 --> 18:35.000 But why? 18:35.000 --> 18:37.000 He says she's stealing his act. 18:37.000 --> 18:39.000 Oh, my God. 18:39.000 --> 18:41.000 Bonzo, I'm awfully sorry. 18:41.000 --> 18:44.000 Please, I don't know how to react. 18:44.000 --> 18:47.000 Bonzo, would you give Miss Latour just one more chance, sir? 18:47.000 --> 18:51.000 Please, Bonzo, Bonzo, thank you very much. 18:51.000 --> 18:53.000 For a minute I thought I was fired. 18:53.000 --> 18:54.000 Thank you very much. 18:54.000 --> 18:56.000 You're awfully sweet. 18:56.000 --> 18:57.000 Okay. 18:57.000 --> 19:01.000 Okay, now we'll try the part where you see the injured, unconscious pilot. 19:01.000 --> 19:04.000 Remember, it's the first time you've ever seen a man. 19:04.000 --> 19:05.000 Yes. 19:05.000 --> 19:06.000 Got it? 19:06.000 --> 19:07.000 Yeah. 19:07.000 --> 19:08.000 Let's go. 19:08.000 --> 19:09.000 I won't do it anymore. 19:09.000 --> 19:13.000 I'm out. 19:13.000 --> 19:14.000 Makeup all right? 19:14.000 --> 19:15.000 All right. 19:15.000 --> 19:17.000 Settle down, everybody, will you? 19:17.000 --> 19:19.000 Quiet on the set. 19:19.000 --> 19:30.000 Action. 19:30.000 --> 19:32.000 No, no, no, no. 19:32.000 --> 19:34.000 You're a beautiful young woman. 19:34.000 --> 19:36.000 He's a beautiful young man. 19:36.000 --> 19:38.000 The first you've ever seen. 19:38.000 --> 19:39.000 You're wonderstruck. 19:39.000 --> 19:41.000 In love at first sight. 19:41.000 --> 19:46.000 Don't you understand? 19:46.000 --> 19:47.000 You want to show him? 19:47.000 --> 19:55.000 Good. 19:55.000 --> 19:56.000 That's it. 19:56.000 --> 19:57.000 That's exactly it. 19:57.000 --> 20:00.000 Now look, can you please try and do what Bonzo did? 20:00.000 --> 20:01.000 That's fine. 20:01.000 --> 20:02.000 Come on, Bonzo. 20:02.000 --> 20:05.000 Come on. 20:05.000 --> 20:07.000 What an actor. 20:07.000 --> 20:21.000 Okay, action. 20:21.000 --> 20:26.000 Now we'll try the part where you and Bonzo are both very sad because the pilot appears to be dead. 20:26.000 --> 20:27.000 But then he moves. 20:27.000 --> 20:29.000 He's alive. 20:29.000 --> 20:33.000 You and Bonzo are so happy that you both begin to dance with joy. 20:33.000 --> 20:37.000 Now do you think you can do a simple little thing like that? 20:37.000 --> 20:38.000 I hope so. 20:38.000 --> 20:46.000 I'll try. 20:46.000 --> 20:48.000 Action. 20:48.000 --> 20:50.000 Action. 20:50.000 --> 20:53.000 You walk in. 20:53.000 --> 20:55.000 You suddenly. 20:55.000 --> 20:56.000 He's alive. 20:56.000 --> 20:57.000 He's alive. 20:57.000 --> 20:58.000 You're both very happy. 20:58.000 --> 20:59.000 You get to your feet. 20:59.000 --> 21:01.000 You begin to dance. 21:01.000 --> 21:02.000 Dance with joy. 21:02.000 --> 21:03.000 That's right. 21:03.000 --> 21:05.000 Faster, faster, faster. 21:05.000 --> 21:10.000 Faster. 21:10.000 --> 21:14.000 Faster! 21:14.000 --> 21:19.000 Faster. 21:19.000 --> 21:23.000 Faster. 21:23.000 --> 21:27.000 Alive with a joyful dance. 21:27.000 --> 21:29.000 Come on, dance faster. 21:29.000 --> 21:31.000 I'm going to get you. 21:33.000 --> 21:35.000 More, more. Turn around. 21:38.000 --> 21:39.000 Turn around. 21:48.000 --> 21:53.000 Wait a minute. You knew this all the time and you just let me make a fool out of myself? 21:53.000 --> 22:00.000 Well, when the real devil showed up, they threw me out of the place. And now if you think that I'm going to testify, but... 22:01.000 --> 22:04.000 But, but, Johnny, Johnny, the two con men made a fool out of you. I didn't. 22:05.000 --> 22:09.000 Don't you see, dear, if you don't testify, they'll go on making fools out of other women. 22:10.000 --> 22:15.000 But you're just wasting your breath. I won't do it. Besides, look what happened to my acting career. 22:16.000 --> 22:21.000 Your acting... acting, dear? That's it. Honey, honey, that's just the point. 22:21.000 --> 22:28.000 Instead of making you appear as a sucker, dear, we'll present you as an undercover agent from the district attorney's office. 22:29.000 --> 22:34.000 A female private eye whose beauty and brains captured those two crooks. 22:36.000 --> 22:37.000 Yeah? 22:38.000 --> 22:42.000 This is a real part for you to play. Johnny, can't you just see it? 22:43.000 --> 22:47.000 There you are in the center of a tense courtroom. All the eyes are on you. 22:47.000 --> 22:54.000 The jury, the audience, the reporters, all waiting for you to get up and present your evidence. 22:55.000 --> 22:57.000 This is real drama. 22:58.000 --> 23:03.000 Will Jones-Stevens, alias Operator X-7, please make a report. 23:10.000 --> 23:12.000 Well, here's how it was. 23:12.000 --> 23:20.000 Here's how it was. According to the DA's instructions, I was staked out at this pill-rolling employment at 5th and Main. 23:21.000 --> 23:27.000 I have real cagey. These two sharpies moved in. Sized me up, sized them up. 23:28.000 --> 23:30.000 I know they got me outnumbered, but I don't move. 23:31.000 --> 23:35.000 One false move and I'm in a block of cement at the bottom of the ocean. 23:36.000 --> 23:40.000 I know I gotta use brains and beauty to capture these crooks. 23:40.000 --> 23:42.000 So let them take me in. 23:42.000 --> 24:09.000 I went for the five hundred thousand dollars. 24:12.000 --> 24:15.000 Never know where the breakage goes. 24:16.000 --> 24:21.000 Who reaches on and denies that's what I gotta do. 24:21.000 --> 24:41.000 Who reaches on and denies that's what I gotta do.